The R-Word

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, 

it will forever live its whole live believing that it is stupid."

~Albert Einstein~

     Would you EVER call that beautiful little girl above a retard? 

      That would be mean wouldn't it? I hope your answers were no and yes. However, I'm sure that you've heard someone say "you're retarded, she's retarded, that's retarded" and you didn't even blink. Heck, you yourself may have said it at one point or another. Or in reaction to something, have said or heard said, "RETARD!". These may just seem like words in everyday speech, another way to say "stupid". Well it isn't JUST a word. It's a hurtful, hateful, derogatory word. Special needs kids have to struggle every day to do the things "typical" people do with ease. Often times they do it with the biggest brightest smile on their faces. They have a way of restoring your faith in humanity, a way of showing you that life is what you make it, and they choose to make it GREAT! 

     Yes, the word retarded is still used, even in the medical community, however even that is being phased out. And let's be real. When someone uses the word retarded in their speech 99.99999% of the time they are NOT using it to describe someone's medical diagnosis. They are using it to degrade some one, some thing. They are using it to describe someone as the dumbest of dumb. They aren't being nice. Period. Just like the N-word, just like every other derogatory term used to describe a group of people based on color, religion, or heritage, the R-word should be phased out of our vocabulary and our children should be raised better. If you think the word is ok, then I challenge you to look at the picture above and call her a retard. Tell that innocent little girl, that does nothing but love people, she's retarded. Look at a picture of someone with Downs Syndrome and call them that ugly word, look at your neighbor down the street, still feel good about using it? I hope not. If you want to be a part of the change then make a pledge, right now, to erase that word from your vocabulary and to not tolerate it from others. Speak up, on person CAN make a difference! If you find the need, print my daughter's picture and next time someone challenges you about it, or says the word, show them Shelby and tell them to call her that to her face, with her mama around. Commit to being the change we need in this world. I will now post a popular PSA video and the link where you can join others in Spreading the Word to End the Word! 

From my family and from Shelby, we thank you!

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And THIS is where you take the pledge! Do it for Shelby! Click the image below to pledge! 

Please share this post with others. Let's make a change!

So far, so good...

Shelby now has three full school days under her belt. She tends to be getting tired in the afternoon but is trudging through it and will hopefully adjust. I can say this, bedtime has been a BREEZE! Normally she comes out of her room at least a dozen times to ask for a drink, to go potty, to get a dog to come lay with her, and so on. The past three nights have been a dream! Goodnight Shelby I love you, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. LOL
     So, have I been enjoying my time off? Well, Monday yes was nice and relaxing. Tuesday my middle child had a dentist apt. Run to town, do the apt, get him back to school, then curriculum night, yay! Today had to take Shelby to the Pediatric Ophthalmologist 45 minutes away, 2 hr long apt(which went well btw, no changes), then back for my oldest daughter's curriculum night. My husband asked if I had a day where something didn't need to be done and I had to look at my calendar. I'm happy to report Thursday and Friday look good. We'll see! All three are liking their teachers and liking school, I'm counting my blessings, now ask me again once homework really kicks in!
     A few things I've noticed without the kids here. When I clean something it stays clean, I mean, who knew?! I have a mini panic attack when I can't find Shelby only to remember she's at school. And there are not NEARLY as many funny things happening now that Shelby is gone for a good portion of the day. So now, I think I will find new and creative ways to torture my husband for my own personal amusement, he works second shift ;) So, ideas on how to do that?! *insert evil laugh here* This is what he gets for not reading my blog. And don't any of you that know him give him a heads up either! That'll learn him! Tehehehehehehehe!


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OK, why does it smell good in here?!

Now, typically a room smelling good would not be a bad thing right? Well, if you have a "typical" kind of house it may just be a good thing. Here however, not so much. Now unless I have my spray bottle in my hand while I clean or I just dropped some Scentsy cubes in my warmer I'm inclined to have a mini panic attack at any overwhelming scent. So a note to future visitors, if you like to wear strong perfume or randomly spray stuff to see what it smells like, give this mom a heads up k? lol
     So, back to why good smell = bad. A strong scent usually indicates Miss Shelby has gotten into something. I cannot tell you how many bottles of cleaner I've been through. I'll be cleaning, turn my back, grab another cleaner and forget the one currently being left unattended and next thing I know...*sniff...sniff, sniff, sniff* "Shelby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Do NOT worry, these are non toxic and environmentally friendly cleaners. *informercial voice* "I'm not only a customer I'm also an advertising rep!" No, seriously I am! So it's only costing me money to have Shelby "help" it is not a call to poison control! lol Anyhooo THAT is the cleaner scenario.
     Then we have the mystery smells. The "mmmmmmm I love the smell of hubby's deodorant, wait a minute...SHELBY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Or "mmmmmmmmm my perfume smells good, can't believe I can still smell it that....SHELBY!!!!!!!!!!!" Or "That clean fresh powder scent is ni.......gosh darnit SHELBY!!!!!!!!!!!".  At this point you are probably thinking, put your stuff up woman! Well I would if...1) I didn't have the memory of a mom and forgetting my name half the time. 2) Everyone else didn't have the memory of a fly. 3) I wasn't constantly distracted when I have stuff out by a ringing phone, screaming child, or a grown man child needing assistance finding his stuff. And finally 4) The fact that even though you "think" you've found a Shelby proof spot, eventually she proves to you just how silly that idea was.

So I leave you with pictures from an incident a few weeks ago, she sure had fun! I knew something was wrong when I smelled it, I confirmed it as I turned the corner and saw this...

 

Shelby...you are so busted little girl.  

Who? Me?

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Please also check out the website Apps 4 Children With Special Needs!

Annnnnnnnnnnd Good night folks!

iPad, oh how I love thee...let me count the ways.

1) From the first time we borrowed you from a friend we had tears in our eyes. Seeing our 5yr old, developmentally delayed child, complete her first 7 piece puzzle we were hooked. We stopped just shy of robbing a bank to get one ;)

2)Shelby has been able to show us that she has absorbed a lot more than what we thought. Through apps like "Spot the Dot" by Ruckus Media she has shown she knows several colors and can even find them in a "busy" background. "Shape Puzzle HD" has shown us our little girl LOVES puzzles! "My Play Home" by Shimon Young, has allowed her to explore a house and what all you can do in it without making an actual mess of mine! lol She can run as much water as she wants, "cook" things on the stove, and open and close curtains without pulling them down! And all I have to do to clean her "house" is push a button, where can I get one of those, hmmmmmmm? There are sooo many more that I love so I'll just show a pic of our faves! I've got stuff to do and this Signing Time episode is only so long!

4)When in doctor offices, restaurants, grocery stores, or anywhere a child is expected to be quiet and sit still the iPad is a parent's dream come true!

5)While Shelby is verbal the iPad gets her talking about things and showing you all the cool stuff it does. I can only imagine how this device opens up a world for a non-verbal child!

6)The iPad has given me something to be passionate about. I want to see the special needs world explode with the iPad. Speech therapists, teachers, special ed classrooms, doctors, therapists, insurance companies everyone should know what this amazing product is capable of and what a life changer it truly is.

7)The iPad allows Shelby to accomplish things she normally hasn't been able to do and to see the smile on her face when she completes something is worth so much more than words can say!

And NO I did not get paid or asked to mention any of the apps and developers listed.

I'm happy for you, no, I really am. I just need a minute...

     It's back to school time! Yay! Seriously I love my hooligans I really do but after 24/7 with them all summer mama is ready for a break! An added bonus Miss Shelby will be in school a full day this year. I'm sorry, what was that? I can't hear you over the sound of angels singing. Anyways where was I going with this post? Oh, yeah, I'm happy for you.

     So, because it is back to school time there are going to be parents saying "my baby is going to school this year, my big boy/girl is officially a kindergartner", and so on and so forth. Kindergarten is a milestone year. It's the year where your preschooler, your "baby" is growing up and becoming part of the school aged minions. I get why they are nostalgic, I get why it is bittersweet, it is something to be celebrated. I get it and I'm happy for you, I really am.

But here is why I need a minute...

     I'm fairly new to the world of special needs, within the past year and a half it has gone from "needing more time" to "need to find an answer/diagnosis". So being the newbie that I am I still and I imagine I always will take a pause when Shelby's peers hit their "typical" milestones and we just aren't there yet. I am NOT ashamed, I am NOT embarrassed, I am NOT disappointed in my little girl at ALL. I am so proud of her and the progress she has made. Just remember we didn't plan for this, nobody does. You get so absorbed in your new world that sometimes you forget there is another world running parallel to your's and every now and then you intersect. These I like to think are the "pauses".

     Shelby should be a kindergartner, she should be getting excited, making new friends, and "growing up in front of my eyes". She should be gaining that independence and maturity that comes with Kindergarten and she's not. And, I'm ok with that. In fact this next year is full of promises and who knows what lies ahead of us. She will be doing a full day of ECE-SE and we hope that with the extra time and repeating in the afternoon what she did that morning things will start to "stick". In the end Shelby is Shelby, and she is awesome! So to look at is as a glass half full kind of situation, while your baby is growing up, I get to hold onto mine for a little while longer.