I'm happy for you, no, I really am. I just need a minute...

     It's back to school time! Yay! Seriously I love my hooligans I really do but after 24/7 with them all summer mama is ready for a break! An added bonus Miss Shelby will be in school a full day this year. I'm sorry, what was that? I can't hear you over the sound of angels singing. Anyways where was I going with this post? Oh, yeah, I'm happy for you.

     So, because it is back to school time there are going to be parents saying "my baby is going to school this year, my big boy/girl is officially a kindergartner", and so on and so forth. Kindergarten is a milestone year. It's the year where your preschooler, your "baby" is growing up and becoming part of the school aged minions. I get why they are nostalgic, I get why it is bittersweet, it is something to be celebrated. I get it and I'm happy for you, I really am.

But here is why I need a minute...

     I'm fairly new to the world of special needs, within the past year and a half it has gone from "needing more time" to "need to find an answer/diagnosis". So being the newbie that I am I still and I imagine I always will take a pause when Shelby's peers hit their "typical" milestones and we just aren't there yet. I am NOT ashamed, I am NOT embarrassed, I am NOT disappointed in my little girl at ALL. I am so proud of her and the progress she has made. Just remember we didn't plan for this, nobody does. You get so absorbed in your new world that sometimes you forget there is another world running parallel to your's and every now and then you intersect. These I like to think are the "pauses".

     Shelby should be a kindergartner, she should be getting excited, making new friends, and "growing up in front of my eyes". She should be gaining that independence and maturity that comes with Kindergarten and she's not. And, I'm ok with that. In fact this next year is full of promises and who knows what lies ahead of us. She will be doing a full day of ECE-SE and we hope that with the extra time and repeating in the afternoon what she did that morning things will start to "stick". In the end Shelby is Shelby, and she is awesome! So to look at is as a glass half full kind of situation, while your baby is growing up, I get to hold onto mine for a little while longer.